You know those times when you are away from the comfort of your home and a sudden urge to drop a big one overwhelms you. You first try to withstand the volcanic bubbling and intense abdominal pain hoping to postpone this major evacuation until you return to the comfort of your own throne. Then you realize there is no delaying the inevitable. You pull over to the nearest fast food restaurant or gas station to relieve this unbearable pressure. You begin to dread the discomfort of an unsanitary public restroom or the potential embarrassment of a loud anal explosion. But what the hell, this shit can’t wait. Feverishly you burst through the bathroom door and check for an open stall. Finding one, you quickly undo your pants and take a seat. Ahhhh; you breath a sigh of relief as you air out whats left of that Taco Bell you ingested earlier. You then realize that in the heat of the moment you forgot to wipe off the toilet seat. It doesn’t matter though because it sure felt good to get rid of the extra weight. Then acknowledging the stench you go for a courtesy flush and realize you are stuck to the toilet seat. You desperately try to free yourself but all attempts to do so are unsuccessful. You relax and try to figure out what is the best way out of this situation. After too much time has passed by you realize your only option is to reach into the pockets of your fallen pants to get your cell phone to call for help.
Could you imagine that 911 call? Oh the embarrassment! Believe it or not, something like this may have happened yesterday to a man who found himself stuck to a stainless steel toilet in a public bathroom in England. Firefighters were unable to free the man so they rushed him and the commode to the hospital. Doctors had to climb into the ambulance and use chemicals to separate the man from the seat. The toilet was returned to the bathroom. Authorities say the 35 year old may have been the victim of a prankster.
Moral of the story: Make sure you wipe before you sit that ass down.